well.. life is life. my frd once told me that she would want to control her own life, and not be controlled by life. hmm.. that makes sense. We LIVE our life, right? we live it; we are not being dragged through it... LIVE is an action. it's initiative, it's possessive. So, if you don't take some action for urself, no one is gonna help you. Well, if u have a caring parents or boyfrd, galfrd to do everything for u, then that's fine (ie. if you don't mind being a parasite mentally). I don't see what else is there if one doesn't have an independent mind controlling one's own life.

LIVING, is an action, which comes with consequences. Consequences can be good or bad, or both depending on perspective. In actions, there are decisions, choices. Making these decisions and choices always involve lots of complexities... but only 1 rules governs it, "follow ur own heart". What you want can be from your deeply held belief or your ego. hmmm.... i dunno if i make myself clear... but there's a difference btw the 2. anyways, so if one makes a decision following the soul's belief/desire, then i think there's no need to regret it. I mean, you shouldn't regret it, cuz u made the decision. move on... wut if things turn out bad by unexpected factor? well, it's a test put forth by God, isn't it? or, it's destiny... or it's part of life.

TO LIVE, it's not just merely satisfying the biological need (alimentation), or satiating some corporal or material desires, or accomplishing something based on other's wishes (ex. parents), it's ur own life, it's the pursuit of bliss. when suffering, sadness, illness tangle up with ur life, ur pursuit of bliss may be interrupted... but once you can accept these sufferings are part of life, u'll treat them differently... u'd be able to laugh it off, joke about it...but when it's the time to mourn the death, mourn it... when it's the time to cry, cry it out loud... when it's the time to suffer the pain... take it..  but after that, move on.. That is the way to live..

"Follow your bliss. Find where it is, and don't be afraid to follow it. If the work that you're doing is the work that you chose to do beacuse you are enjoying it, that's it. But if you think, 'Oh, no! I couldn't do that!' that's the dragon (fear) locking you in. 'No, no, I couldn't be a writer,' or 'No, no, I couldn't possibly do what So-and-so is doing.' ...But in doing that (following your bliss), you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes, there's no doubt about it. The world without spirit is a wasteland. People have the notion of saving the world by shifting things around, changing the rules and who's on top, and so forth. No, no! Any world is a valid world if it's alive. The thing to do is to bring life to it, and the only way to do that is to find your own case where the life is and become alive yourself.... If you have somone who can help you, that's fine, too. But, ultimately, the last deed has to be done by oneself. Psychologically, the dragon is one's own binding of oneself to one's ego. We're captured in our own dragon cage. The problem of the psychiatrist is to disintegrate that dragon, break him up, so that you may expand to a larger field of relationships. The ultimate dragon is within you, it is your ego clamping you down. (asked: What's my ego?) What you think you want, what you will to believe, what you think you can afford, what you decide to love, what you regard yourself as bound to. It may be all much too small, in which dcase it will nail you down. And if you simply do what your neighbors tell you to do, you're certainly going to be nailed down..."

---Joseph Campbell